I do resist change. I am inherently someone who likes stability, tradition, patterns, met expectations. I am not my sister who constantly yearns for the next thing. I generally want to stay and perfect whatever I have.
And boy did I resist. I fought this dizzying spiral of goodbye with everything in me. I gave it everything I had. And I know that I am and will draw confidence to move on from knowing that I did absolutely everything in my power to not let this happen.
I don't believe I ever really heard this verse until it happened for real. I don't even really remember knowing what this song was about until it was my life. How many times had I sung along to the first verse or the chorus without even realizing what I was singing about? Not that it's hard with three boys in the car to not catch all the words to a song during those rare moments when I was listening to "my" music. But, like those theories that say you can't see something that you don't know exists, I don't think I ever realized what Dar Williams was singing about. And now, I wonder, how does she know? Has she had her husband of 10 years, father of her three sons, leave her? How am I supposed to become a butterfly through this? And not just any old butterfly, but an iridescent grateful one?