Thursday, June 6, 2013


Absolutely must learn to go to bed earlier.  It's closer to 2am than 1am.  I know that I'm not as good of a parent when I haven't had enough sleep.  And after two baseball games and late bedtimes last night, the boys aren't going to be at their best either.
There's just so much to do.  Between the old chores (laundry, dishes, pick up, etc.) and the new chores (setting up online banking for my bank and my credit cards, paying bills, dealing with all the legal paperwork that's beginning to call out for organization and management), it's suddenly 1:40 and it's not like I've been wasting time watching TV.  I don't care how unequal the distribution of effort was around here, he still contributed more than naught.  And now, not only am I left with all of it, I don't even have the emotional support.  I can hear my mom and sis arguing that I was practically doing all of it anyway and didn't have much emotional support.  They're right in a way, but he did contribute, and even if the emotional support wasn't what it should have been, I still felt like I had a partner instead of facing it all alone.
Then again, sometimes, doing it all on my own cultivates a sense of pride and "screw you - I don't need  you" attitude that is empowering to a certain extent.  And so my mind spins, round and around to see all sides, ad nauseum.  Sleep will overpower that.

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