Just returned back from the most amazing trip to Nuevo/Puerto Vallarta with my college girlfriends. I've missed my boys a lot. It was very hard to be away from them back to back for two long spells like this, but the trip was really what I needed with the exception of that part. (When we planned the trip of course, I didn't anticipate being separated from them for a long spell before my trip as well).
It's seriously depressing to come home to an empty house, with no one waiting for me and no one to even know if I got home alright or not. It's really the first time in my life I've lived alone. I either lived with my birth family, or roommates, or my created family (my husband and boys). Even in the Peace Corps when I technically had my own house, there was absolutely nothing remotely private about anything where I lived, so the whole community knew when I came and went and my "neighbors" were more like housemates than most housemates in the US. So to come home tonight to a dark house and no one to welcome me was really hard. I realize this is not the last time that will be my reality now.
It's going to be a challenging week with meetings with the attorney and our mediator. Another counseling appointment, a ton of stuff to do for work, and most importantly, I feel a strong need to have some good quality time with my boys after being away so much. So, I should put this aside and go to bed, now.