Monday, February 10, 2014

Laziest weekend ever

I've just had the laziest weekend of my entire adult life. Lazier even than a vacation. I haven't ever gotten dressed today. I haven't done anything, except make eight quilt blocks last night for my cousin's twins' quilt project. I've read Time magazines and the newspaper (not even books!) and napped and watched movies. I truly can't remember a weekend this lazy in the last 10 years. It was needed.  It wasn't depressed; there wasn't crying or overwhelming sadness.  I wasn't paralyzed, just very still. Not still in a spiritual way with meditation or anything, just in a slothy kind of way. And it was good. Not fabulous, but like I satisfied some need. A need to be nothing to anyone, not even myself.
It was aided and made possible by the snow/ice storm.  Yesterday I only ventured as far as the corner store for milk and potatoes and then later at night went to my good friends who live right across the street to share dinner with them.  She's sick and I offered to bring over matzo ball soup.  It gave me an excuse to make and eat an actual dinner and to see some other humans.  Today, I never left the house, hence the not getting dressed.  I can't remember ever doing that as an adult.  Seems like even when I've been sick I got dressed to some degree.  Even with brand new babies there was some degree of getting dressed.  But when I didn't have to get up and go to work today because of the snowstorm, I just took it as an excuse to be utterly lazy.

There's been so much that's happened lately I find that I haven't written here because I feel the need to update.  But that's silly if it's just for me and not an audience.  I already know the big events of the past few weeks.  An offer on my house, the county-required parenting class for divorcees, the awful conversation about resuming the mediation process, the fear over not knowing where to live next and what to do, the frustration with my eldest son's education, the wii that is now part of Disneyland Dad's house, the argument/confusion over the parenting calendar, and so on and so forth.  It's been an exhausting emotional week or so.  No wonder I just had to not-exist in a way this weekend.  Tomorrow, back at it.  Exercise, work, parenting, etc.  The school's are on a two-hour late start schedule in the morning, but I'm going to be unavailable.  I'm going to go exercise before work.  He can deal with that late start.

Then next weekend I'm going to take them to the mountain for two nights and two days.  I've rented a room and we'll cross-country ski, sled, and downhill.  They've never skied.  It seems like a big adventure to try to take on my own, but I want to do it.  I want to use those new ski clothes I bought last year.  I want to show them that moms can make all sorts of exciting adventures possible in addition to making them work hard.  I feel intrepid! I feel mighty.  I feel adventurous.  What I really really wish is that someone was doing this with me, but alas, there's no one.  I won't let that stop me though.  And I asked another single mom friend and son to come join us on Saturday.  They won't be staying the night but will come play on Saturday with us.

I think there should be an online match up service that matches up families, especially single-parent families using algorithms like kids ages, interests, general values, etc. to make it easier to meet new family friends during this time.  There is a single moms and dads online search thing, but it is clearly for dating, not for friendships.  I think it's a great idea.  If I had tons of time and money I would make it happen, but I can't take this on, that's for sure.  :(

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