Monday, November 25, 2013
Night before last I dreamt that he expressed remorse for his choices and asked me if we could try again. It was weird that I would have this dream now. For one, I'm quite certain that he doesn't feel that way, having been given every opportunity to do so and since he just decided to spend time with his girlfriend and our boys together. Secondly, I don't remember ever having a dream like that before in the past eight months. Why now? It would have made more sense back when I desperately wanted that to happen. Now, to be honest I'd be equal parts happy and terrified and unsure. And it's certainly not where my heart and brain have been, not what I've been focusing on. So why now? Perhaps it was only to show me how far I've come? That is, if progress is the name for this journey I've been on.