This is a blog post I wrote on March 19th, just two weeks after he left (or I kicked him out, depending on who's telling the story). It’s the last post of the family blog. I happened to see it when I looked back at that blog for something today, and wanted to put it with to repost it here, because it fits here.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The MC never ceases to amaze me. This morning was hard for me; I'm trying to hold it together for their sake and not let them see my despair. I put on some music to empower me, my new favorite song, "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons. I was singing along to it and then to the next one that came on, and MC said, "I like that song that was on before this one."
"I do too," I said, "It makes me feel strong. Sometimes playing music can help me feel strong and more cheerful."
"You know what's a good song for feeling strong?" he said, "number 12 on Daddy's CD."
"Daddy's CD" is a mixed CD pair that I made for their daddy a few years ago with a bunch of empowering songs, some cheesy, some less so. Though he hasn't ever really listened to them much, the boys LOVE those CDs. Meanwhile their father and I and the sitters have grown very tired of listening to the same "Hot Stuff" and other songs in that genre ad nauseum. Nevertheless, I was most curious which one he was thinking of and rather incredulous that he not only knew a song that could make you feel strong, but that he knew which number it was and on which CD. He couldn't describe it, so we went to put it on. Soon, "Strong Enough," by Cher was blaring through the speakers. I nearly cried. That child is so unbelievably insightful sometimes. Beyond what he even understands. He couldn't possibly understand the full power of those lyrics, the affair imagery and everything. It had to be a coincidence. But I just had to check on one thing. As Cher sings, "I'm strong enough to live without you..." I said to him, "It's true kiddo, I'm really strong, but I'm not strong enough for that. I could never live without you. I will love you forever."
To which he simply responded with a hug and a kiss in return and said, "Oh, I don't know about the rest of the words, just the strong part."
God I love that kid.