Thursday, October 10, 2013


I've had an on again off again relationship with exercise my whole life. It has never been as inherent to me as it is to some. But I do know that I feel better about myself when I've done it, which I've hardly done at all in the last six months. And now that I'm eating regularly again, I'm going to end up gaining all the weight back that was the one silver lining of last winter's misery. I'd like to stay at 132, but I've already crept back up to 135. Not good. Certainly don't want to end up back at 150. I like these size 6s. So, I guess I should figure out a way to exercise since giving up food is never realistic for me. I looked on YouTube this morning and did 10 minutes of Zumba. Wow am I out of shape! Maybe the new rule is I can't watch Once Upon a Time until I've exercised. Then again, I can hear Dr. P saying don't be so hard on yourself. Put so many rules and expectations on yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Maybe she would say that. But maybe she doesn't realize how much TV I've been watching. I feel like a guilty kid who everyone assumes is not stealing candy but really is. Then again, is watching a couple of hours of TV a night during the lowest point of your life really such a sin? I won't be a couch potato forever. Never have been. Balance. It's all in the balance, I know.

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