I read this article on grieving yesterday and it resonated with me. I have a lot of support in words and I know that people would probably give me more support if I asked for it, but it's so hard to know how to ask. I wish everyone knew these things. But we all forget. Even when we know. Even when we've grieved ourselves. That being said, I think if you've really grieved yourself you are potentially more compassionate and better able to give what other grievers need. There's a poster on the wall at the shul that says "There's nothing so whole as a broken heart." It's by a chassidic Rabbi, Medel of Kotzk. I was asked by my MC what the poster said and meant (it has two bandaids laid out in the shape of a heart) as I was standing in the hallway next to his father and we were trying to get him to go to class. Not an easy thing to answer in that context right in front of my STBEX. But I've been thinking on it regularly since then. It's so true in so many ways. And then yesterday I read this piece by Julie Peters about the emotional and spiritual value of being broken on one's bedroom floor. It's all about Hindu mythology and the Goddess of Never Not Broken, Akhilandeshvari. Among other bits of wisdom, here's this: "So now is the time, this time of confusion and brokenness and fear and sadness, to get up on that fear, ride it down to the river, dip into the waves, and let yourself break. Become a prism.All the places where you’ve shattered can now reflect light and colour where there was none. Now is the time to become something new, to choose a new whole."