- I wished that I had someone who had taken care of me a little bit more.
- I know that I have a pattern of being the caretaker in life, and not being taken care of. (I did work to change that pattern this weekend when I reached out for help and let people come to my house and work tirelessly in my yard and in the house to get things ready for sale.)
- I also have very high expectations (of myself and others).
Well, where does that leave me? Am I doomed to not have partnership unless I can find someone with the same energy level and vision as I have? I don't think it has to be that way. I think partners can still care for each other, even with different energy levels. I think that if he had been taking care of himself (which I repeatedly encouraged but he never did), that even if our energy and vision was slightly out of balance, he would have had the reserves left to be able to demonstrate his care for me more.
Ok, I think I'm thinking in circles now, and I have to get to work anyhow. Part of me knows all this self-reflection and "review work" doesn't do any good, but the other part of me argues that I need to do this so I don't fall into the same pattern with someone else someday. Don't I have to unlock the pattern in order for that not to happen again?