Saturday, January 11, 2014

"But it's ok, right mom?"

This is such an emotional workout. With exercises like choosing not to have an inappropriate emotional response when while snuggling with my six-year-old he says, "I like Daddy better than you now. I mean I love you both, but you know how when I was little I liked you better, now it's kind of the opposite, but that's ok, right?"
Give me a f'ing medal for putting up with that and still snuggling him and kissing him goodnight. I did tell him that while it was good to be honest about one's feelings that one also might want to think about what would be hurtful to other people. He's something else. So hard to figure out his wiring. So complicated. Mostly he's just wanting to spend more time with his dad. He's noticing that the schedule isn't equal, and he wishes it were more so. I feel like a traitor because I don't let him know that I don't actually want the schedule to change to benefit his father. When he says that he knows the schedule is like it is because Daddy works more and indeed they saw Daddy less than they saw me even before "the divorce," I refrain from clarifying. That's true.  It's just not the entire truth.

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