Hard Wired?

My therapist says that regardless of their attitude and behavior now, if the boys see that it's important to me that the house is clean and tidy before leaving on a trip, that they will ed up doing the same thing when they are grownups. That's the good news right?  But does that also mean that we're jut a combination of our wired experiences. Programmed to behave like our parents?  And if that's the case, what's to stop the boys from growing up to do jut what their father has done?  In which case, is there an age in which this is more or less damaging to their future adult approaches to relationships? Have we caught them early enough that I can somehow counteract the effects of their father as I raise them to be emotionally honest men? Or are they just destined to do the same damn thing?